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The Way We Actually Were by Jeffrey (George) Winter Recollections from a veteran of the Third Reich. [1,337 words]
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Cutting Critics by Frank Dunsmore We've all heard the debate: what is the responsibility of a reviewer? Is it primarily to tell t... [5,146 words]
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The Cool Clique by Pearl S I actually did some reasearch for this, interviewed a few older friends... they don't understan... [837 words]
Sweetchild by Paul Leighland MacLaine Sweetchild is the story of interracial love, a tragic story of a Romeo and Juliet. [2,387 words]
Story Of A Ghost by Matthew Mercieca A short story, about a man who goes through life being consumed by hate. [1,130 words]
Special by Pearl S - [1,338 words]
Space Walk by Sue (Sooz) Simpson May Cause offense. [1,290 words]
So This Is My Life Then by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [517 words]
Renting by Paul Leighland MacLaine Sometimes letting go can be harder than holding on. [390 words]
Remington, Underwood & Royal by Paul Leighland MacLaine Will Kingsway has just purchased the solution to his writer’s block – a black, Rem... [4,378 words]
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Involution Melancholia by Paul Leighland MacLaine Mead wakes to find he has been sleeping on a bar. The room is filled with people and smo... [1,859 words]
Hickory, Dickory, Dock by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [991 words]
Four Minute Warning by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [476 words]
Everything's Falling Into Place by Paul Leighland MacLaine As his girlfriend throws all his possessions from a balcony, the man realises t... [957 words]
Close? Only When We Danced by Paul Leighland MacLaine Secrets and promises are often the hardest things to keep. They have a habit of slip... [908 words]
Cherry Blossom by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [435 words]
Big Things Come In Small Packages by Alessandra Mace This story is about a boy who loves playing the piano and wishes to be a pian... [2,075 words]
Anything Has To Be Better Than This by Paul Leighland MacLaine Nixon lives a quiet life, he minds his own business, keeps to himself...it’... [952 words]
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Instrument Meteorological Conditions by Shelley Alongi Aviation Series story 6. Built on friendship and common interest, Andrew ... [2,464 words]
Worlds Biggest Loser by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [114 words]
Watch Out, Henry! There's A Hole In That There Bucket! by Pearl S The English Essay I Had Way Too Much Fun Writing. [4,772 words]
Warring Faiths by Ami Another dream... [1,503 words]
Volunteer by Scott Turnit Red Scottturnitred The Empire Falls into civil war. Hard decesions must be made. [2,654 words]
Violet Glowing by Jason Richard Mercer The prelude to a story about an emotionally drained nymphomaniac with the soul of an angel. (I g... [594 words]
Twenty-First Century Mankind by Eric A Hofmann I chose to write a modern day myth which tackled subjects that I thought should be... [1,273 words]
Torn Over Ben by Tracy N Van Brocklin This story is an overview of a young woman's feelings about how she must give up what has been ma... [3,667 words]
The Wrong Love by Samuel James Chase When is love wrong? A story told from the point of view of a person who feels he is the victim i... [2,425 words]
The Music Of Zetaph by Rachael E Bills An intriguing outlook on a futuristic world where aliens from the planet Zetaph have interg... [3,218 words]
The Dinosaur by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [1,523 words]
Rebecca by Tammi Goyns A short story about supposed insanity...read into the mind of a madman and how he finds society to be c... [1,034 words]
Naughty Bunny Goes To Ibiza by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [552 words]
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Cat's Chorus by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [1,332 words]
Cancer Of The Circumstance by Paul Leighland MacLaine When a man meets a friend in the street, a long lost friend, he sees that he is dyin... [1,424 words]
Blue Pill by Scott Turnit Red Scottturnitred Deep Space Romance. [4,499 words]
Anne by Sue (Sooz) Simpson - [707 words]
After She Left by Paul Leighland MacLaine When a relationship ends and partners go their separate ways, the memory of the lost love begins... [708 words]
A Twist In The Tail

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TITLE (EDIT)
A Twist In The Tail
DESCRIPTION
-
[963 words]
AUTHOR
Sue (Sooz) Simpson
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
I'm thirty nine, recently single again. I have two boys Cli' (pronounced clee) Real name Christopher and Mark. I'm a care in the community nurse and formerly (when I was married) an occupational Therapist working with the mentally ill on a secure unit. I love reading and writing and meeting people. I hate offal, seafood and intolerance. I keep dog, cat, polecats, rats and reptiles. And for seven years ran the second largest reptile sanctuary in Britain. Apart from having my lads, I think that's probably the most worthwhile thing I've ever done. Writing wise, I've been the main fiction writer for Legends magazine for three years.And have two books published 'Lizard's Leap' published by Quillusers, and 'Better the Devil You Know' soon to be released by Bestbooks.Um I drive a knackered old Astra, and ride a two litre trike. I live in the lake district of England, and am happy. :-)
[January 2003]
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
sooz.006@virgin.net
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (84)
A Fork In The Road. (Short Stories) A paradox revolving round the lonely Holker Mosses in the dead of night. [2,835 words] [Mystery]
Agony (Short Stories) The First in a series of Agony columns written by the unstoppable Aunt Nasty. (May be deemed offensive) [1,200 words] [Comedy]
Agony 2 (Short Stories) Morew from the irrepresible Aunt Nasty (May be deemed offensive). [1,077 words] [Comedy]
Angel Stew (Short Stories) The kitchens are in uproar. [826 words] [Comedy]
Anne (Short Stories) - [707 words]
Apple Of His Eye (Short Stories) Daddy's little girl, Daddy's little sweetheart. (May be deemed offensive). [1,742 words] [Drama]
Attractions (Short Stories) People stared at the sisters and called them freaks. [678 words] [Drama]
Bandit At Twelve-O-Clock (Short Stories) A sinister note drops through her letter box, but who is it from and what's it all about? [2,144 words] [Drama]
Barriers (Short Stories) Everybody's frightened of the prisoner in the cell at the end of the block. [2,913 words] [Thriller]
Breakfast In Bed (Short Stories) She loved her husband so much, and a sepcial man deserves a special breakfast. [1,633 words] [Horror]
Car Trouble (Short Stories) Boys will be boys. [496 words] [Comedy]
Cat's Chorus (Short Stories) - [1,332 words]
Cherry Blossom (Short Stories) - [435 words]
Cold, Cold Night.. (Short Stories) The night was beautiful but biting, she had to make her final farewells, a cigarette would help. [630 words] [Drama]
Creeping Up From Behind. (Short Stories) You can't ever really know what someone else is thinking ... unless they choose to tell you. [925 words] [Drama]
Dark Solitude. (Short Stories) A woman alone on the moors when a storm threatens, but this is no ordinanry storm and that is no ordinary lady. [1,434 words] [Drama]
Dawn Rising (Short Stories) He looked at his own personal sunrise every morning, yet longed for the warmth of the sun. [1,069 words] [Drama]
Deadly Persuit (Short Stories) Nature at its most cruel .. when it's interfered with by man. [1,541 words] [Drama]
Deep Blue Eastern Light (Poetry) I've never been to Budapest, but I saw an image on a postcard, it was misty and had a sort of dreamy quality about it. I wondered about the spirit of Budapest. Hope I've done her justicce. [204 words]
Different Road (Short Stories) Charlie is running scared. Will he find his way before his precious time runs out? [521 words]
Empty House (Short Stories) This had been her domain, now it was only a shadow. [649 words] [Drama]
Find Me A Place (Poetry) Everybody needs somewhere to run. [193 words] [Drama]
Finding Fleur (Short Stories) Katy desperately wants to find Fleur, but does Fleur want to be found? [1,727 words] [Drama]
Four Minute Warning (Short Stories) - [476 words] [Comedy]
Freedom By Another Name (Short Stories) He's an imposter [557 words] [Drama]
Furtive Glances (Short Stories) Always the last to know! [891 words] [Drama]
Galaxy (Poetry) Let Venus bear witness and Mars be our guide. [139 words]
Hickory, Dickory, Dock (Short Stories) - [991 words] [Drama]
Is The Toilet Roll Half Full Or Half Empty (Short Stories) It's hard when you're at bursting point. [423 words] [Comedy]
I've Always Wanted To Write... But! (Short Stories) There's always an excuse if you want to find one. [510 words] [Mind]
Jasmine And Gardenia Love (Poetry) - [417 words] [Erotic]
Jinny (Poetry) - [176 words]
Just The Ticket (Short Stories) You pays your money and you takes your chances. [5,177 words] [Drama]
Knockers (Short Stories) It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it. [2,210 words] [Drama]
Little Bird (Short Stories) He liked fragile things [1,406 words] [Drama]
Lizards Leap (Novels) Four children buy an intricately carved frame from a school fair. A crazy old woman chases them desperately wanting the carving for herself. What is the mystery surrounding the strange frame? [5,753 words] [Adventure]
Long Walk Back To Jurassica (Poetry) Evolution and progress or three million steps backwards? [323 words] [Drama]
Lookingthrough The Window (Short Stories) - [401 words]
Madness Becomes You (Short Stories) She used to be someone, now she's several people, or maybe she's nobody at all, it makes no difference. [394 words] [Drama]
Making My Way Back To You. (Short Stories) She'd told them a thousand times to keep the front door closed, now tragedy had struck. [1,926 words] [Drama]
Memberwhen (Poetry) Memberwhen that mystical word of long ago memories. [189 words] [Drama]
Mortar Doesn't Breathe. (Short Stories) The house was inanimate, dead ... because her child was gone. [1,114 words] [Drama]
Mourning Glory (Short Stories) One of my favourite pieces. Please note *This is not a children's story* It's the tale of a little girl trying to be a child. [1,786 words] [Drama]
Mumbles From The Madhouse (Novels) It was her first day on the secure unit and somehow she had to see it through. [2,215 words] [Drama]
My Friend The Tiger And Me (Poetry) I wrote this for my little boy when he was having trouble at school. [942 words] [Animal]
Naughty Bunny Goes To Ibiza (Short Stories) - [552 words]
One-Man Race (Short Stories) He had only his nerves to rely on. One slip and the race would be lost. [664 words] [Drama]
Out Of Print (Short Stories) A man, a boy, a love of reading and echoes of the past. [2,007 words] [Drama]
Outrun The River (Poetry) The snow was melting fast and he owed it to himself and his seld of dogs to make it to safety. [145 words] [Action]
Pact Of Joy. (Short Stories) Don't we all just want to be happy? [2,497 words] [Drama]
Play With Me Please. (Short Stories) - [322 words]
Return Of The Hellcat (Erotica May Be Offensive) (Short Stories) Please do not read this one if easily offended. Or even not so easily offended. Continuing sexploits of Dark Solitude. [3,390 words] [Erotic]
Room For One More (Short Stories) The dream was haunting and wouldn't leave Mike alone. [1,728 words] [Drama]
Rush Hour (Short Stories) - [419 words]
Sally (Short Stories) - [2,268 words]
Sinister Music (Novels) She had no psychic ability, so why had fate chosen her to foretell of the spate of brutal murders? [6,114 words] [Drama]
So This Is My Life Then (Short Stories) - [517 words] [Comedy]
Space Walk (Short Stories) May Cause offense. [1,290 words] [Drama]
Spirit Dancer (Poetry) - [514 words]
Sweet Child Of Mine (Short Stories) The old lady had been brutally mugged, her son was sucjh a good boy, but would his thoughts now turn to revenge? [1,843 words] [Drama]
Tangled Web (Short Stories) Treat `em mean and keep `em keen. [596 words] [Drama]
The Band Played On (Short Stories) - [1,486 words] [Drama]
The Big Picture (Short Stories) The little girl was a great artist, but her subject matter was giving cause for concern. [776 words] [Drama]
The Comet. (Short Stories) Remember! [796 words] [Drama]
The Dinosaur (Short Stories) - [1,523 words]
The Half Empty Glass. (Short Stories) They had no idea of the horror they were walking into. [3,030 words] [Drama]
The Hhmmm Efect (Poetry) - [783 words]
The Iceberg (Short Stories) She had to break the hold they had on him... release him from his parents grip. [410 words] [Drama]
The Joker (Short Stories) - [2,032 words]
The Lovers (Poetry) - [124 words]
The Mark Of Jack (Short Stories) The start of something maybe. [1,044 words] [Drama]
The Old Enemy (Short Stories) I just hope I've got the names right. [253 words] [Drama]
The Rosary (Short Stories) May cause offense. [422 words]
The Spark (Short Stories) - [557 words]
The Thirteenth Station (Short Stories) - [8,024 words] [Horror]
The Village Green. (Short Stories) - [559 words] [Drama]
Three Mile Gap (Poetry) So close and yet... [285 words] [Drama]
Tomorrow Lies Beside Us (Poetry) - [239 words] [Drama]
Tusk (Short Stories) - [1,012 words] [Drama]
Under The Whether (Short Stories) - [1,626 words]
Watching And Waiting (Short Stories) - [1,253 words] [Drama]
White Icing (Short Stories) - [1,385 words]
Worlds Biggest Loser (Short Stories) - [114 words]
You Are My Sunshine (Short Stories) - [1,285 words]
A Twist In The Tail
Sue (Sooz) Simpson




   Twist was a happy Ferret; well as happy as a captive bred pet ferret can be anyway. He had a clean hutch with a large airy outside run, that if he was lucky he managed to escape from about once very six months. He was well fed, and given loads of table scraps by his humans. He was also the recipient of abundant attention, and was very well cared for. And to furnish his Eden he had the company of two lovely ladies. A mother and daughter combo actually, Piccolo—Pixie-- and Cello. He was one lucky ferret. To be honest the mother ferret, was also Twist’s mother too but we won’t go into that too thoroughly, as for the last two years he’d bred with both of them. Come on now a ferrets gotta do what a ferrets gotta do.

  His humans were kind and attentive, and every so often the mother human let the little humans bring the trio into the house. Then they had a ferret of a time. The first thing Twist would do was to go round the entire perimeter of the room on his belly, grinding his musk glands into the carpet and making it good and smelly, this was his patch, and no one had better forget it. Anyone who has ever been up close to a Ferret or Polecat, especially in spring, will be only too well aware of their very distinctive ‘aroma’, a smell so gentle and delicate, that it can knock you backwards from three hundred yards away, it lingers on your clothes, and permeates the furthest reaches of the farthest nook and cranny of the house. It defies and defeats the most diabolical, sorry biological detergent known to man, or to ferret.

Sorry ferret folk, but you STINK!

   The three terrorists would then play ‘lets see how many ornaments we can smash.’ one point for a knock off, two points for a smash, and a massive five points for a smash over the big, bald humans head. None of them had quite attained that accolade yet, but they were ever the optimists, and lived in hope.

   When they tired of this, they would dig and bury themselves in all the pot plants, sending soil and foliage everywhere. This was also deemed to be a good time and place to ...er ...go pee --or worse.

  It was usually about this time when the mother human screamed at the top of her lungs the ‘OUT’ word. The Ferrets were never quite sure what this meant. They always hoped that it meant food would be provided. But usually within a very short period of time, they were unceremoniously scooped up, and carted back to their hutch, where they would settle down for a good nights sleep all cuddled up together, shattered after the days events. It was a tough life being a busy ferret you know.
 
Ed sat bolt upright in bed. The sweat was pouring off him and the sheet was twice wrapped round his left leg. He was shaking and moaning ‘Oh no not again.’

  Every night he had the same recurring dream, not a nightmare as such, for in the dream he was always quite content, but still not the ‘Sex on the beach with Pamela Anderson’ dream. Nope it was the dreaded ‘Ferret’ dream again. He had it night after night. He would always dream that he was a ferret. A smelly ferret, A smelly ferret that regularly copulated with his mother and his sister. It was ruining his life.

He couldn’t sleep with his wife anymore, His nighttime wrestling had left her black and blue, but the big strop came the night he had called her ‘Pixie’. He had begun to fantasise constantly about making love to Cathy ‘ferret style’ with her lying face down while he bit viciously at the back of her neck to hold her in position. How he longed to feel fresh, crusty scabs at the back of Cathy’s neck after a night of ferret rutting. This was about the time he decided it would probably be a pretty good idea to see a Psychiatrist. The shrink was a little less than useless, and seemed to place great store on the mother, sister thing.

 Ed was now finding it difficult to work, the urge to dig in fresh, loose soil was becoming obsessional to him. Ed’s greatest lament was that he couldn’t clean himself the way that a ferret does. Think of the way a dog or cat cleans themselves and you will get the picture!

 Ed’s life was not a happy one. Ed wanted to be a ferret, more than he wanted United to win the cup, more than he wanted a new Ferrari, more than he wanted sex on the beach with Pamela Anderson.

One day, Cathy came home to find Ed sliding on his stomach round the room, He said it was a new stomach toning exercise, but he didn’t think she believed him. Cathy had asked him to leave not only their bedroom, but also their house. She once nastily suggested that he build himself a hutch in the back garden. Ed thought it was an excellent idea.

Ed went downstairs to get a drink of milk, It was still five hours until morning. He greeted the thought of going back to sleep with a mixture of trepidation and excitement.

  Ed did go back to sleep the second his head hit the pillow.

  It was about THAT time when Twist began twitching and chattering frantically in his sleep, His body jerked, and in his dream he tried to escape. Then thankfully, he found himself to be awake and back in his hutch. Thank goodness it was only that dream again.... The Man Dream.

 

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2000 Sue (Sooz) Simpson
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
January 2003
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
1473
 

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