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Poetry




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TITLE (EDIT)
Not Ready...
DESCRIPTION
This is a spoken word piece...totally puttin myself out there....
[397 words]
AUTHOR
Charity B Baez
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
I have been writing since I was nine years old...this is the first time anyone has read my work....all feedback is appreciated.
[April 2006]
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
heaven23bx@yahoo.com
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (21)
A Woman (Poetry) About a woman, (this woman) and how love affects her.... [259 words] [Romance]
Damn! I Fell.... (Poetry) I fell....in Love. [322 words]
First Meeting (Short Stories) Erotic tale of a man and woman who met online, and are meeting face to face for the first time. [2,501 words] [Erotic]
For Now.... (Poetry) For now...things are as they should be.... [175 words]
I Sit And I Write (Poetry) A reason as to why its hard for me to share. [143 words]
I'm Truly Tired.... (Poetry) I'm truly truly tired...and I want to give in....but cant... [150 words]
Just Thoughts..... (Poetry) Just thoughts running through my mind.....at a crazy point in my life..... [191 words] [Romance]
La Otra Mujer (Poetry) The Other Woman [206 words]
Lost....Again.... (Poetry) Ever found yourself lost...time and time again? [137 words] [Mind]
Love....My Love (Poetry) My idea of love. [126 words] [Relationships]
My Child, My Son, My Little Boy (Poetry) Funny thing is... I don't even have a son... lol... but I feel the pain none-the-less. [516 words]
New School Kinda Love (Poetry) Just my thoughts and views on Love in today's world. [287 words]
Old School Kinda Love (Poetry) This is the kinda love i'm looking for...it's a spoken word piece...so u might not be able to catch the flow...but here it is nonetheless... [370 words] [Romance]
One Step Closer (Poetry) - [751 words]
The Complexity Of Simplicity (Poetry) How hard can the simple things be? [147 words]
Time...Is All I Have (Poetry) What can heal a broken heart? only time.... [169 words] [Relationships]
Until Then...... (Poetry) - [102 words] [Relationships]
What Could Never Be (Poetry) What should not have happened, did, if only for a brief moment..... [144 words] [Relationships]
What I Want (Poetry) Everyone wants alot of things in life....these are a few of the things that I want. [189 words]
Why? The Question Of My Life..... (Poetry) Just asking a question and hopefully finding the answer within. [311 words] [Mind]
You'll Never Know That (Poetry) Some things are just not ment for others to know. [118 words] [Relationships]
Not Ready...
Charity B Baez

Those who know me…
Know…

They know my eyes change color with my mood….
They know I’m just as comfortable in sweats, sneakers, and a fitted…
As I am in a low cut blouse, high heeled shoes and make-up…

Those who know me….
Know….

That I grew up in a dysfunctional home…
With an alcoholic mother…
And an absentee father…

Those who know me…
Know…

That I’ve been through hell and back in relationships…
Cheated on…
Beated on…
Used and abused by boys…
And girls alike…

But they know that I’m a strong, independent woman…
And I have survived…
And will continue to grow…
Stronger…

Those who know me…
Know…

What they want to know…
What they want to see…
What they want to hear…

Because God forbid they know the loneliness in my heart…
See the pain in my eyes…
Or hear the hurt in my voice…

God forbid they notice how close I am to the breaking point…
How at any given second that silky string holding me together will SNAP!

Those who know me…
Know…

That I keep all my emotions in check…
Plaster on a smile and let the bitter and thoughtless words that I have for the world dissolve on my tongue…

But they don’t taste them like I do…
They can’t feel them
Sliding slowly down my stomach
They don’t notice that I’m getting full…
That every once in a while,
I’ll regurgitate, taste it again, and swallow it back down…

They don’t know…
Want to know…
Feel the need to know
The urgency in which I need to find a way to expel all this chaos reeking havoc on my internal organs…
To dispel of this pain,
Confusion,
Disillusionment…

What I would give for one single solitary moment;
All to myself;
Of pure happiness…
Joy…
Contentment…

Instead…

I suffer in a solitary silence…
While surrounded by friends…
Family…
Lovers…

Who all desperately want to believe…
That they know the real me…
But who are not capable of handling the burden of knowing me…

Not Ready…

Not ready to witness the anger…
Frustration…
And insecurities of me,
Come to a boil…

Not Ready…

Not ready to counsel me…
Guide me…
Teach me how to function normally within the human race

Not Ready…

Instead…

They take comfort,
In foolishly believing that I am an indestructible rock…
Stable,
Steady,
Secure…

Not Ready…

And I take comfort in their blindness…
And my misery…
They do not see a problem,
And I do not see a solution…
They do not see me in pain,
And I cannot seem to shake it…
They do not see my inability to love without the total destruction of my heart being the end result…

Not Ready…

They do not see…
The torment…
Confusion…
Sadness…
In my soul…

Because they refuse to see…
That this is all their fault…
For not trying…
Climbing…
Fighting…
To know the real me…

They are…

Not Ready…

 

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2009 Charity B Baez
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
May 2009
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
713
 

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