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Thinking About My Father
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TITLE (EDIT)
Thinking About My Father
DESCRIPTION
A Sort of Essay/Short Story about the relationship with my father.
[979 words]
TITLE KEYWORD
Literary Fiction
AUTHOR
Kevin Myrick

K Myrick

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
I'm currently a College Student enrolled at Auburn University in Auburn, AL. I'm studying Political Science, but thinking of changing my major to English, or double majoring. I'm interested in computers, the outdoors and of course, writing. I read a lot instead of watching TV, because in truth there is nothing more of value to watch on TV anymore.
[December 2003]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (22)
A Conversation With God (Short Stories) Basically, its a short story with sort of a twisted view on the whole walking with god on the beach theme that you see around. I dunno, it was sort of one of those late night writes. Yeah, I'm an athe... [1,230 words]
A Gunslinger's Death Is Always Best (Short Stories) The Sixth in the Sierra Madre Stories, finally typed up for your enjoyment. [3,668 words] [Crime]
Chapter One: A Stiff Shot Of Southern Comfort (Novels) It's an idea I had for a novel, no title yet. No worries though, I'm sure I'll have something by chapter two. Enjoy! [1,314 words] [Literary Fiction]
Fireworks At Christmas (Short Stories) This is the fifth story in the continuing series called the Sierra Madre Stories. [3,274 words] [Literary Fiction]
Headboards And Tombstones (Short Stories) The fourth story in the Sierra Madre Series/Stories, this one is about the boyfriend mostly. Some backstory, some flashback. Hope everyone enjoys. [2,898 words] [Literary Fiction]
How To Read This Diatribe (Essays) The very beginning letter from myself to you about a new series of essays, stories, and miscellaneous things I'm writing about. [317 words] [Mind]
In The Beginning (Short Stories) The followup to "The Last Two Minutes of an Insane Man's Life", which takes the reader back to the beginning, retracing the steps to how he has a gun to his head. [1,225 words] [Literary Fiction]
Last Two Minutes Of An Insane Man's Life (Short Stories) The story of a man who is insane and has his inner demons leave him after trying to commit suicide. It ends ironically, I guess. Note: Strong Language and some sexual content. Not safe for children's ... [914 words] [Literary Fiction]
No Longer A Smoking America (Essays) I wrote this paper for my college english comp class, and decided it was worthy enough to publish. Maybe. Anyhow, take it with a grain of salt folks, and if you see something you think is wrong, pleas... [1,483 words] [Mind]
Roundabout Love (Short Stories) The story of two people who shouldn't be able to fall in love, but came together. [1,187 words] [Drama]
Sail Away (Short Stories) An autobiographical story that ends with a point about the quest for the meaning of life, and what the meaning of life is to me, the author. [1,295 words]
Six Of Hearts (Essays) First Post in my 52 series of essays on how I dislike social websites like thefacebook.com, and my adventures in online dating. [654 words] [Mind]
Something About Good Decisions (Novels) Chapter two of something else I've been working on. Taking the last chapter's comments into view, I've decided to shift away from the whole "writer as a main character" theme to "who are those two guy... [2,322 words]
Southern Roadtrips- Part One (Novels) The Prologue and First Two chapters of a novella I'm writing called "Southern Roadtrips". At least, that's what I'm calling it right now. Characters and Stories are based on fact, but I've taken creat... [3,315 words] [Travel]
Southern Roadtrips-Chapter Four (Novels) This chapter, while describing a small portion of my time in Chattanooga, does better to describe my feelings about myself and my parent's divorce. [1,442 words] [Travel]
The Death Of Smith And Jones In Sierra Madre (Short Stories) The next story in the "Sierra Madre Stories" series in which describes the death of Smith and Jones, two of the four who are responsible for the death of Mary. It also includes an interesting anecdote... [3,072 words] [Literary Fiction]
The Family Of Four (Non-Fiction) For my friends at college. [1,014 words]
The First Joker In The Deck (Essays) This is an essay about my personal philosophy, or lack thereof. [1,098 words] [Mind]
The Four Of Clubs (Essays) Second part to the Four of Diamonds. It has been called "a bible." [2,726 words] [Mind]
The Four Of Diamonds (Essays) A bit of a rant about my generation's debt, prescription drugs, healthcare, and George W. Bush. Just read, I swear it's interesting. [1,963 words] [Mind]
The Man From Sierra Madre (Short Stories) The second in the "Sierra Madre Series" with more death and an interesting plot twist at the end. Or, at least I think it's interesting. [3,659 words] [Literary Fiction]
The Massacre Of Sierra Madre (Short Stories) The beginning of a series I'm calling "The Sierra Madre Stories", this is the first one in a long list of stories. It involves everyone's favorite subjects: Drugs, death and money. [3,637 words] [Literary Fiction]
Thinking About My Father
Kevin Myrick

Today, I was thinking about my father. And mortality. And well, a lot of stuff.

I was thinking about last Christmas mostly, when I drove to
Beaufort before me and my father drove to Chattanooga to spend Christmas
with my mother and sister, and her fiancť at the time. As a side note,
they are now married, but thatís another story for another time.

So I was in Beaufort, hanging out at my Dadís place. I would go
outside at night and smoke cigarettes, go to the bathroom and wash my hands.
My dad knew by then I smoked, but I hadnít built up the courage to tell him
yet. It was one of my few bad relationship moments with my Dad of late. The
next day is really what this is all about.

He had an appointment at the Hospital. It was to get Ďscoped, as I
like to call it. A colonoscopy. I find it amusing that when they do this
procedure. Not because they stick a tube inside of you, but because they only
half-way knock you out, so that you can watch. Now, Iím not one for gross stuff.
Iím a bit queasy in fact. So when I start thinking about it, well, I get
nauseous at the idea.

What I remember most about that day though is waiting. I waited for him
to get done with the procedure, so that I could drive him home. The waiting is
always the hardest part of anything. So, I sat outside, smoking a few cigarettes,
waiting for my father. Then finally, it hit me. At the time, I didnít realize
what had hit me, but after reflection I know what it was.

It was that my father will not be around forever.

I guess this revelation wasnít exactly what I thought it was at the time.
 It was something that struck me kind of hard. My father and I havenít exactly had
the storybook relationship a father and son should have. But at the same time, I
love my father. Even for all of his faults, I still love him. And I wish that I
could spend more time with him, even now when Iím in college. Iíd love to talk
to him every night if I could, learn from him the things a son wants to learn from
a father. But then, I remember that my father and I are not the same people. That we
could never be that close. But at the same time, Iím trying to get closer to him
 as the years go by.

My father is about to be 49 years old. He told us at my sisterís wedding
that after next year we will not be celebrating his birthday. I know better, my
father will want to celebrate his birthday. And now that I think about it, my father
was almost 30 years old when I was born. And now, Iím 19 years old. My sister is 22.
And she is married. Time is flying by so fast.

So now, Iím sitting here writing this and thinking about mortality. And what
to do about wanting to see my father more before well, heís no longer here. I know that
itís more important for me to see him now, because when Iím in my 20s, I want to be married
and having children and all. But at the same time, I want to know my father. I want to
know about why he drinks so much, about what goes on in his mind. I want to know why he
didnít try to quit drinking when my mom left. I just want to talk to him and learn these
 things. Not because I donít want to repeat these mistakes, which I donít. I just want
to learn more about my father. And really, I donít think thatís so wrong.

My fraternal grandfather, when my dad was my age, died. My aunt was about to
graduate from high school and my uncle was just getting started. My father had to come
home from college during the summer and deliver newspapers for three months. (My
grandfather owned a bunch of newspaper stands, et cetera.) So I guess, with that knowledge
that my real grandfather never got to meet my sister and I sort of puts me at a
disadvantage. I want my father to meet my children, when I have them. I want him to meet
my sisterís children. I donít want to say the things my uncle says, things like ďIf my
father were still alive, heíd love this. Heíd be sitting with us right now talking to you guys,
drinking beers and generally having a good time.Ē I never knew him.

My grandmother remarried a few years after my grandfather died, and now I have my
grandfather Charles. Heís a good man too, and to me, heís the only one Iíve ever known. But when
I go to Huntsville, I make an effort to go see my real grandfatherís grave. I want to know
him just as bad as I want to know my father, but will never get that chance. I guess what this
is really about is my father never really knowing his father. And I want to know my father more
before he is gone.

In reality though, time will only tell whether or not my father and I will be closer and
closer as we both get older and older. Iíd like to think, that now that my sister is married, and
my family will no longer see her as much as we did (which for me has been maybe once or twice a
year), that my father and I will become closer since I am closer in distance than she is. But
then again, you never know.

 

READER'S REVIEWS (4)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.

"Hi, its good to write about your emotional feelings and sometime in life we are hurt. My own father died when i was only 13 years old and it feels like it only happened yestoday. Life is too short, my brother died 3 years ago and my mother died last year. We will always remember the ones we love no matter what good or bad that they had done. My elder brother, he treated us with respect and was a father figure. No matter what, believe in God - and you sister may be looking at you as a responsible father figure. - God Bless you and your family." -- Amy , Hayes , Middlesex, England.
"Hi, its good to write about your emotional feelings and sometime in life we are hurt. My own father died when i was only 13 years old and it feels like it only happened yestoday. Life is too short, my brother died 3 years ago and my mother died last year. We will always remember the ones we love no matter what good or bad that they had done. My elder brother, he treated us with respect and was a father figure. No matter what, believe in God - and you sister may be looking at you as a responsible father figure. - God Bless you and your family." -- Amy , Hayes , Middlesex, England.
"Hi, its good to write about your emotional feelings and sometime in life we are hurt. My own father died when i was only 13 years old and it feels like it only happened yestoday. Life is too short, my brother died 3 years ago and my mother died last year. We will always remember the ones we love no matter what good or bad that they had done. My elder brother, he treated us with respect and was a father figure. No matter what, believe in God - and you sister may be looking at you as a responsible father figure. - God Bless you and your family." -- Amy , Hayes , Middlesex, England.
"Hi, its good to write about your emotional feelings and sometime in life we are hurt. My own father died when i was only 13 years old and it feels like it only happened yestoday. Life is too short, my brother died 3 years ago and my mother died last year. We will always remember the ones we love no matter what good or bad that they had done. My elder brother, he treated us with respect and was a father figure. No matter what, believe in God - and you sister may be looking at you as a responsible father figure. - God Bless you and your family." -- Amy , Hayes , Middlesex, England.

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2004 Kevin Myrick
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
July 2004
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
1673
 

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